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Walker's adventures in the loony bin
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I went to the Evaluation not really expecting too much. HA HA HA. I took some tests and talked to a person for awhile. I knew things were headed down hill when all the doors were locked behind me after I took the evaluation.
So, it turns out they felt I was a keeper. So I stayed. No choice really. :) But it was relaxing and a pretty good thing for getting your shit together.
The place I was in had up to 20 people at a time, 2 halls of bedrooms in an L shape with a common room in the center of the halls where the TV and some chairs were.
I was fortunate in that I didn't have a room mate till my last day there. All your belongings are confiscated if they could pose any danger at all. Like anything with alcohol. The mirrors in the bathrooms are the weird plastic ones that give a funky distorted look to everything. Windows don't open, and we could only go out on a small fenced in patio 3 times a day for about 15 mins.
They take blood samples. They also check vitals (blood pressure, temperature, and pulse 4 times a day.) Nothing like being woken up at 5 am for a vitals check. The cafeteria style food there was awful. I mean remember high school awful. I didn't eat alot there.
My co-hostages were nice enough. There was a girl that was 6 days clean from heroin she was very proud. Except for her constant showering all night long she was nice. (She was across the hall and in the middle of the night when you can't sleep, you can tell when someone showers 5 times a night.)
A schizo fellow who had some amazing conspiracy theories he was glad to tell me. He also cut all the eyes out of the people in the magazines we had and glued them to the leaves on the plants in the main room. Something about plants in the plants watching you. He was a nice guy, very friendly.
There was a angry guy that had to be sedated often. He yelled loudly and cussed his mom out repeatedly on the phone. Always seemed to run around with out his shirt off. A odd and scary fellow. Quite psycopathic. They kept him seperated and sedated most of the time.
A few other people just shuffled around in a daze. They really didnt speak to anyone. The were almost like ghosts. Just drifting along in fluffy white bath robes or their blankets wrapped around them. They might stop and say something, but between adjusting to my meds and being sedated myself, it was just odd noises breaking the silence on occassion.
I think the saddest was the little deaf Japanese girl brought in by her family. She couldn't communicate and when she tried she sounded just like a cat mewling. She would just wander around picking up miscellanious things. Some times rooting in the garbage cans. We would have to help her out sometimes and stop her and lead her away from the trash cans. Truly heartbreaking. Mental illness is a hell of a thing, and I have a hard enought time trying to articulate my problems and I can speak. I could never imagine the hell of not being able to even attempt to let someone know what you think and feel.
I tried to participate in everything and seem cheery so I could get out as soon as possible. I just stayed in for a week. They upped my meds throughout. Starting me off on 300 mg Welbutrin, 300 mg Effexor XR, 6.5 mg klonopin, 100 mg Seroquel. They pegged me as Bi-polar type 1 with schizo-affective disorder and major depression recurrent.
Some of the classes you attend are actually somewhat intresting and you can pick up some good info if you pay attention. There were 4 group therapy sessions a day, they varied in type. Some were art classes, some were just talking about life, some were on nutrition. A mixed grab bag of stuff. Some of it teaches you ways to deal with things once you get out. Nutrition and taking care of yourself to keep a positive self image.
Things began to improve a bit. I just hung out in my p.j. bottoms and a tank top, writing in my journal and thinking things over. There wasnt really anything else to do. It wasn't a festive place, trust me. It was a quiet place of contemplation and sedation. If you go to an Evaluation, take a bag of comfy clothes and some books. Trust me. You'll thank me later.
Update: 1-20-06. In reflection the stay in the bin was the best and most relaxing vacation I have ever had. It wasn't bad at all and helped me alot. Don't think of it as a negative. Sometimes we all need to step out of our worlds and take some time away to get our shit together. Get ready to go back out the door into the world with the rest of the kids in the playpen.
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